For the Guy with Kids and a WW 12

[hopeful4her]

That was too fast.

Number eleven:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1573466&page=2&fpart=1

Girls, I meant lodo would get jealous because he was supposed to be picking the last movie. I think he chose "Dan in Real Life".
I was just kidding around.

Okay, an interesting night. The gathering of my friends friends was already drawing down by the time we got there.

And there was no live music. At about 9pm, B called me and asked what I was up to. I told her where I was. She asked if she could join. She had left off her daughter at a bday party and had until 10:30 and she just lives a couple exits down the road and had such a bad day that she needed to vent. By the time she got there, the friends were pretty much gone, so I waited for her. She got there and we had a beer. She got something to eat. We just talked. Well, mostly her venting. Her mom, her daughter, drama stuff. At 10pm, our friend K calls. She just finished a date that went like crap and wanted to join.

So by the time K gets there, B leaves. Now I'm sitting with K and the place is closing but I go talk to the waiter to beg for a couple more beers. He brings them and looks really confused at my guest. It was funny. K is venting and wants to keep on having a drink somewhere. We head to a bier garten place. The Flying Saucer. Crowded place full of 20 somethings and about 5000 different beers. We have to sit a table with another couple and we have a few Newcastle beers and talk. Mostly between us and sometimes to the other young couple.

Interesting talk. We talk a lot. Then...

"Has B told you about my dream?"
"No. What dream?"
"I had a dream that you and B got married."
"No sh*t?"
"Yeah. We've talked about it. You know your a catch. Your a great guy, handsome. You are definately a catch. So my question is when are you and B going to get married?"

WTF!

"uh.."
"You know, I would definately date you. Your a handsome guy, Roger. I told B that if she wasn't going to date you that I was going to. I haven't really pushed it because I thought you were into brunettes and I'm just a poor little blonde white girl."

Now I'm freaking out. The whole time I'm thinking "What planet am I on?" I go ahead and admit to her that I find B very attractive. I also tell K that SHE is the hottest 43 year old that I know. Really.

But......

"But you love your wife. I know."

We talk a bit more about my wife. I ask her when she had the dream. She said a few months ago, that she didn't mention it because they thought I went back to my wife.

????

I said that I haven't "been" with my wife for almost a year now, but that yes, I do still love her. Wish I didn't so much, but I'm still married to her.


We finish the night. I follow her home to make she gets there ok. If I really wanted, something most definately could have happened last night. I told ya'll that I control myself. Not what I'm looking for. Not what I want. I was so dang cool about it. Like I was someone else last night.

Until I get divorced, I keep my small bit of hope. No more guessing about B or K. K is the one that threw me for a loop. OMG she is hot.

But they now know where I stand. Talk about an ego boost. If only my wife could feel like that.

[kat727]

Well that was /is for movie night with everybody. This was just you and me. I think you now see that we weren't pulling your leg when we said you were playing with fire. You may have been better off just watching a movie at home!

well at least you know where you stand with them. They are both interested in you in "that" way. Keep it up and whatdidido is going to come smack you!

kat

[hopeful4her]

Everything is out in the open now. So now I realize it. Why does both sides of my life involve drama. Last thing I want. I just wanted to be out having a good time. I don't believe I was leading anyone on. Believe me, I do NOT consider myself the catch.

Why do people believe that just because someone is separated that they're the same as divorced? It isn't the same. Like okay, now that I'm separated, I'm gonna go messing around. Crossing lines. ESPECIALLY when they know she went stepping out on me.

Like they want me to move on, exact revenge and find someone else better, and that's not what its about.

Now I know that I have to deal with a delicate sitch. Keep 'em at an arms length.

D11 left me a message last night. I missed her call.
"I guess your out at another concert."

She says she wants to skip church in the morning, because she has been going to bed late, and she is going to be tired.

The wife calls me this morning too. Says the girls are still asleep. I tell her that D11 left me a message, so I already knew. I ask about D6 and about her phone. Still not working, so I should call the apartment phone or D11's phone if I need to call.

She tells me to pay no attention to the name that comes up on the caller id. She doesn't know whose name it is. I tell her I saw nothing. She says her mother told her Javier something's name pops up on caller id. I say okay. I'll call after church.

After church, D11 says that they are going to Chuckee Cheese and then to Barnes and Noble. I tell them to call me later when ready. D11 calls me a little bit ago. Do I want mom to bring them or something. I say its up to mom. I can go pick up if she needs me to.

Gonna BBQ some chicken for tonight. Try my hand at potato salad. If the wife brings them, I might say she's invited if she wants but no expectations.

I know I probably shouldn't invite, but I'll be nice.


BTW, I think Dub has left me too but I guess I understand.

[Sugar and Spice]

Why do people believe that just because someone is separated that they're the same as divorced? It isn't the same. Like okay, now that I'm separated, I'm gonna go messing around. Crossing lines. ESPECIALLY when they know she went stepping out on me.
Like they want me to move on, exact revenge and find someone else better, and that's not what its about.

Why does it come as such a shock that there are so many people out there that DO NOT respect marriage vows? Marriages are disposable these days. Nobody wants Mr./Mrs. Right, they want Mr./Mrs. Rightnow. Whoever makes them feel good right then. Relationships & "Love" is a drug and its a "socially acceptable" addiction. People look down on drug addicts, but they try and understand and help the other kind of junkies.
I'm kind of on a rant today, but people have no respect for the sanctity of marriage, its very sad.
I'm sure that both B and K are very nice women, but they would move in on you in a heartbeat(as you now know) and not give your W a second thought. That right there should be a huge red flag about who they are and where they are in their lives and their walk.

Just be careful.

[hopeful4her]

Rant all you want girl.

I'm in kitchen and someone walks in my front door. Scared the hell out of me. It was Nephew. It's been a couple months already. I went for a handshake and get a hug. I miss him, too. As much as a PITA he was. He's gonna finally get some of his stuff.

We talk a bit. He asks me how I'm doing. He's been over to the wife's place a couple times already. He says he's meant to come over but been busy helping his dad with the new house. He asks if I've been taking things day by day. I tell him I've been getting out a lot. Feel good.

He asks if its hard with out the girls. I say yeah and he says he's seen it with his aunt too. When the girls are with me. He says he know she is going to crash eventually. Will get tired of an apartment. He says he's seen how frustrated she gets with work, bills, the kids and stuff. Or how she is depressed when they are not there. He said that he's pointed to her and said:

"Don't forget. This is what you wanted."

"I know" she says frustrated.

Truth darts from my nephew. Gotta love it.

It was good to see him. And now another room will be emptied.

[karen43]

Why do people believe that just because someone is separated that they're the same as divorced? It isn't the same. Like okay, now that I'm separated, I'm gonna go messing around. Crossing lines. ESPECIALLY when they know she went stepping out on me.
Like they want me to move on, exact revenge and find someone else better, and that's not what its about.

I don't like that either. I'm not interested in dating until I'm divorced, and I would not be interested in dating someone who was interested in dating a married person whether separated or not. It's just wrong. I think there's something wrong with people that are interested in married people!!! H4H, I know it's flattering, but it's obvious women are attracted to you and will want to date you, but I would stay away from those who are interested in you like that when you are married. Like a red flag or something that's not a good person, definitely not good enough for you!!! Karen

[kat727]

We are only looking out for you. We are all there or have been there( well not with guys hitting on us like that!, but the feeling). Right now you get your stuff straight. What do you want? How do you want your relationship with your kids? Think and work about things that get you to your goal.

We are all rooting for you. Hugs.

kat

[lost_in_space]

H4H

Here's the deal - I'll help talk you out of it as long as you want to maintain the goal - if you do the same for me. Ok?

[hopeful4her]

Thats why I posted, guys. I put it all out there for all to see. The turmoil inside of me.

Conflictions. Temptations.

The people in my life. Telling me to go another way. I am totally learning from this experience and it has made me stronger. On both sides.

I know what I want. I want to reconcile with my wife. If she will reconcile with me.

kat, I bet you've been hit on. You just didn't see it. Our self esteem takes a beating going through this crap. And before going through this crap, we didn't see it because we were in love. I know I don't see stuff like that. Just like when GBG and I first got together. Friends for a year, and I had no idea how she felt about me. NONE. We had one chance night of passion that seemingly never ended until about 2 years ago. I've had really good friends tell me in the past that they would have dated me, but I was with my first wife.

I truly have no clue in those things. I don't see myself as that type. To pursue. To chase. To play. It's not me. Never has been.

Thats why this sitch now with the alphabet girls just completely blows my mind. I have NEVER been in this type of position.

Like I said, I meet my first wife when I was 15. We were together a total of 15 years. I have been with GBG for 14 years now. Thats 29 years. I am 43. I went from one to the other. I have never been a player type. I was always the nice guy, the sweet guy. The great friend to most girls.

Although I did a lot of things in my time, being the type of guy that attracted women or girls was not one of them. Thats why I'm so fascinated by my sitch.

That being said, ya'll know I will keep going on. Trying to achieve my goal. Reconciling and my personal goals.

And being a great dad. First and foremost.

And yes, keep talking to me lis. We can all use encouragement.

[Lyn]

Hi H4H, I've haven't been here in a while and just wanted to catch up. I know how you feel. I don't know why our Spouses think their life will be SO much better without us.. I hope mine gets some "truth darts" real soon. Good for you getting out and having some fun. But be careful what you wish for (or get) not always the pic nic you think it will be.

Hi Kat & Karen
I will check on your Sitch's soon . . .