Today we are working together on house projects. This kind of thing makes us both feel good and "together". Sun is shining. It's going to be a good day.
Wdid, I love reading your posts and am so glad you're here! You have grown so much since I've known you here and I'm so happy for you!!!
I actually think there is less chance of an affair for your H now. I know that I just feel sickened at the thought of that now that I've experienced the pain involved and I would never put a loved one through that!!! Karen
WDID, you sound good. I hope you enjoy that sunshine!
It's strange about marriage trouble - seems like some people don't realize the impact their behavior will have until well after they've crossed big bright line.
My wife was definitely like that. Totally nonchalant about her fling. As if it were just a minor thing, like she shrunk one of my shirts in the laundry. Only after it touches a couple, do they both realize the impact. I think of it like an innoculation though - you know? Get a flu shot, and you get a touch of the flu, but you develop antibodies against future infections. I think of marital crisis the same way. After you go through a crisis together, you come out "inoculated" against troubles in the future.
Just the way I think about it, anyway.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
I like your inoculation metaphor, SirPrizeMe. Thanks.
Today my son is home from Kindergarten. THey have a staggered start so off one day on the next. It sure was hard seeing him get on the bus yesterday, but I didn't cry or anything. He was too excited for me to be like that. I actually teared up when he got off the bus and came running to me after school. I couldn't wait to hug him to death.
Things are going well. My husband went to a fantasy football draft last night and came home happy as a clam. I was soaking up my mommy time and was reading a book when he got home. Ended up talking about my egf who is divorced and with the affair partner. She is having second thoughts and called her ex to see if he would reconcile. He kept the door open for her all this time. He hasn't crossed the line with anyone else and has remained true to her. I think they have a chance. Boy, their kids will be lucky if it all works out.
Tonight is Friday. I have so many options. I could go out with girlfriends, have time alone, or spend time with my H. I choose my H. Maybe we will rent a movie. Tomorrow is our Retrouvaille session. Looking forward to it. It is also my son's birthday.
Well hi there sweetie! You sound so good. So when are you going to move over into the Piecing forum? Sounds like the two of you are on your way. Good to hear.
Just wanted you to know that I have not forgotten about you. Just got myself spread out a little too thin and couldn't get around to everyone.
Take care and hope the good work continues.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
H and I are doing ok...nothing fantastic, nothing super terrible. We have good days and bad days. Our good days consist of doing family things, talking together, back rubs, and foot massages, emails back and forth, doing little nice things for one another, runs to the nearest store for special food "treats" to share, cooking together, watching shows together, doing puzzles together, and making plans for the future. Our bad days consist of verbal battles about feelings and anger rising to the surface about the past. We had one recently where I said mean things to him, and he got super mad at me. It's like as I say the hurtful things, I know I need to stop, but my mouth takes over and it's out before I can stop it. It does nothing to help, it only hurts us, but I can't seem to stop myself. I'm working on it. So, after the fights, we both are depressed and it sets us back a bunch.
Our Retrouvaille sessions are over. Now, what we need to do is go through all that we learned and dialogue about it. Again, the time to do this seems taken up with our son and other stuff, but we know we need to continue so we will.
Marriage is so much work. I always thought that if it was true love it shouldn't be this hard, but I know that it is hard eventually in every relationship. You get past the initial happy happy time and then you have to go through "life". This is where I realize how I depended on others to make me happy all the time.
I still think of the OM, but the feelings aren't as strong. I can honestly say that. I think about how good he made me feel, but I feel differently ABOUT him now. I can see the OM more clearly than I did before. When I fight with H I have to admit I think how things would be different with OM, but I also realize that with OM we would be fighting even more.
Newest book I'm perusing is The Theology of the Body.
