Hitting the Atmosphere

[hoosiermama]

All of this in front of S5 & seemingly nothing I could do to stop it.

Since it was so out of context & over the top, I think OW may have given him an altimatum. Doesn't really matter why.

"It's all you J, I tried to have a nice time at dinner & you just couldn't keep it together. See, we're like oil & water, you & me. Look at S5's eyes, it's all your doing."

I said, yes, when you started your affair & left, our R has not seen much positive light, you're right.

H-"I did not leave you because of another women, I left because you treated me like a piece of cr@p."

OMG--I had this same conversation! Small difference--H denied an affair even though I had written proof. However, all the other factors were there, including blaming me for our D's trauma when it was he who left. Two days after starting an affair. I discovered the affair on my birthday. And I agree with you--seeing the devastation on D's face, feeling devastated myself, and then being blamed for it all was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

I think it's simply how they handle their guilt. They project all the problems on us, claim to be completely innocent victims,
and if they can't come up with a fault in us they'll manufacture one, no matter how outlandish it is.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I really hope when our H's get dumped by their OW that it hurts just about as bad as they've hurt us--which it probably will because they'll realize what they tossed out the window in order to be in a relationship that failed.