I'm an idiot savant

[BeingMe]

For some reason, your H reminds me of Hoosiermama's (sp?) H, and she's just starting on this road.

I thinks it's hard to completely dislike the father of your children, no matter how stupid their behaviour is at present (although, we still have to protect ourselves and our children from that stupidity). I said to my H once, that one of the reasons I decided to fight for our M, was that he was the only person in the whole world who could understand when I said something about any of our kids, "remember when...". Could be about anything, i.e. the day they were born, when one of them had to be rushed to the hospital, when they came back with an award and how proud we felt, etc.! No-one else can share these memories. No OW could ever replace this niche! Maybe that's why they have to rewrite their history and find a way to either demonize you, or withdraw from the family, but that is just a facade, that will fade away, and the true history will come back. Not always, but I think it will in most cases, even if they will not admit it.

Anyway, hope you're having the good weekend despite all this.

[kml]

Oh, and about that 30 hours a week "work while the kids are in school" scenario:

- again, most likely as a new hire you would get the less desirable shifts - 3pm-11pm or 11pm-7am. Get numbers on what the cost would be for professional childcare for four children for those hours (AS IF you could even find any!).

- even if you COULD get the desirable day shift, that's 7am to 3 pm. Add up the cost of someone to come to your house at 6:30 am, get all the kids dressed and out the door to school, and then add in any costs for after-school care since you probably wouldn't be able to pick them up until 3:45 - 4:00. Add in weekend care since you would likely have to work your share of weekends (if weekends are split evenly without regard to seniority, you would likely have to work 2/7 of your hours as weekends - that's one 8-hour weekend shift per week). Maybe go so far as to ask the RT department in your local hospital for a typical work schedule to prove your point.

- for comparison, maybe you could find out what the going rate is for a teacher's aide or a lunch lady at the school - about the only job with hours that wouldn't require you to get some childcare. I'm betting it's not much - probably comparable to your current income.

Ellie

[fig]

paras and lunch ladies frequently have to stay later too

and

don't forget holidays

because you don't get those off when you start a new job

and

extra gas and milage on your car
and
work clothes
and
and
and