My heart goes out to you too! It is the absolute worst to find that the OW is someone you know (most of the time it usually is). And this OW has a H too! That is crazy.
The OW for my H first affair was also married. She had 3 kids but my H did not want to be a father to kids that were not his so that did not last. His second affair that is currently going on the OW is 21 and she had no kids so he is living it up because he has no responsibilities. I believe that is one of the reasons he moved out so quickly. He did not want to move out when the first affair happened because he knew that woman was going to come around with her kids. He says him and the 21 OW are not living together but I beg to differ. The first night he was in his rental house she stayed the night with him. I know because his son told me.
My parents also say the same. They are so disappointed with him. My H and I have known each other since high school so my parents have been through a great deal with him.
I have talked with my closest cousins, aunts, and friends. Some say leave him, others say its my decision, one day I think of just starting over but other days I just can't see my life without him and that I know he will come around. Its so hard.
The most important thing is to be there for your kids. I have a D16 who is angry just like your son. She wants nothing to do with her dad right now and refuses to talk to him.
Its like our H believe that there is something greener on the other side especially when they find comfort, lust, attention, or whatever you want to call it in these OW instead of making it greener with us right? My H is in an illusion right now with his 21 OW who is full of energy, always ready to go, knows how to have fun, etc... Its only a matter of time before she cheats on him or he does it to her. But then I think, after that happens and lets say he wants to come back why should I take him back? Why should I be the second choice when that R ends? I should be first. I should be the one he leaves her for not because she left him. I am worthy of a man who wants me for me not because I was his backup plan.
What are your thoughts?
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
