Pretty weird score yesterday between Husky's and BYU - 7 points by each team in each quarter until the blocked extra point. Next week is against #4 Oklahoma. Oh well, your Husky's are staying even with the OSU Beavers. They play each other on Oct 18 and one of the teams will have a win for sure after that.
Yes, Kerry. At least one of those two teams will have a win, but OSU may get theirs over Hawaii next Saturday as the Rainbow Warriors aren't that good.
Maybe today was the day I begin to move forward and away from W for good.
D called me and when I asked her what she'd been doing this weekend, she said "we had a sleep-over w/ James." I asked who James was as I was praying he was one of her friends from school and she said he was the man who worked in the front office of the apartment complex.
I asked D where James slept and she said "w/ Mommy." Ok, now I'm very angry. W did get on the phone w/ me and said she heard D tell me James had slept in her bed w/ her.
I told W that I don't care who she sleeps w/ but I do care that she does it in front of D. I reminded her that we were told explicitly NOT to do this in our parenting class. All W said was it was "none of my business."
I told her it was only my business if it is involving my D. She didn't like that and hung up.
This is after saying it wasn't appropriate for me to be w/ D this weekend, but it is appropriate for her to sleep w/ another man while she has D w/ her?
I've fired off the story to my L who will wish I had the conversation recorded, as do I. However, we can put her feet to the fire if needed. I'm concerned for the messages this is sending to my D. Why can't W see this doesn't hurt me at all but hurts D tremendously?
I may have broken through w/ this and may be beginning to look forward to the D ending things rather than wanting to make things work. I just want to get custody of my D and soon.
Ok, I hope this makes you realise you need to set boundaries and that you honestly have nothing to be ashamed, worried, accused for/about. You need not to be defensive, afraid etc regarding your D. You are a good dad and she is a lousy mom. Get that in you head and make sure you protect your kids' interests. K
Oh Jeez! Now she is shacking up with the manager of her apartment. I wonder if she gets a better rent rate now. No wonder she hung up on you - she is guilty and has no response to your concern.
I hope your L can use this latest to get the custody issue ironed out quickly.
Sorry to say this, but your D5 is probably going to see her mother go through more men in the future. Most of those men wont have the patience and commitment you have and will dump her mighty quick when they find out her anger issues.
Hey Kerry and Kalni. Thanks for checking in. I know I'm not a perfect person, but I do care more about my D's mental health than my own libido.
The problem is in proving this to the courts. W will lie about it as she's done through the entire process. I'm curious as to what my L says we should do and I think he'll call me tomorrow about it.
For now, I'm just trying to settle in for the night and getting ready to call and talk w/ D. It is unsettling that W is choosing to do these types of things. I'm not the one who is being hurt by it all. The victim is our D.
I miss my baby girl and I won't see her until next week.
W sent me a text telling me not to "interrogate" D and that D should not be my confidant. She also said if I wanted to know anything about this "guy" I could ask her and she'd tell me. She finally said he is willing to meet me so I can know "the kind of man he is" and D "adores him."
Well, that is nice, but I answered W telling her I was only concerned w/ his sleeping over in front of Grace as we were told explicitly not to do that and I didn't interrogate Grace, but only asked where James slept. I finished by saying she's not my confidant, but she is my D and I'm concerned w/ what she's exposed to.
W replied that D asked him to stay last night and that W had her female friends sleep over and D had had a friend sleep over so it was all the same in D's eyes.
I completely disagree and told W that my concern was that he slept w/ her in her bed w/ Grace in the house. That is where the line is crossed in my eyes.
As for the two of them, I hope they have the best, most enjoyable sex and they're truly happy together. Honesetly, I do. But if they're not guaranteed to get married, I don't want this paraded in front of my D. It is too risky for her and too potentially damaging.
So I called for D and left a message, then I sent a text to W that I'd called to be sure to get to talk w/ my D tonight. D did call back, but as usual of late, she was very short and we only talked for over a minute.
Shortly after hanging up w/ D, W sent a text saying "D's welfare always directs my actions. She is the center of my life."
I replied asking "What message are you sending her when (new other man who replaced the Snake) spends the night and you two aren't married? That is my concern."
Anyone surprised that she hasn't responded? I don't have her on tape admitting to the guy sleeping over, but I do have these texts which basically say this very thing.
I hope my L has an idea of how to use this to our advantage.
Rob, As painful as this must be, at least you now know where you stand with W. Hope your L acts on this. It sounds like your W feels she can justify anything she does. Maybe you should not discuss it with her and just go through your L. Did you even suspect this relationship? I think anyone would agree it is not a good idea to expose kids to boyfriends/girlfriends until it is sure that it will be a permanent relationship. It is so unfair, it confuses them and makes them feel insecure. If your W had half a brain she would have given you D for the weekend and kept her affair private. She is behaving like a whack job, without any regard of how it will effect a 5 year old. I so hope there is some legal movement soon for you because it does not sound like you can reason with W.
My advice: Stop talking to her. it's pointless to "discuss" that issue. She will never say anything that admits she is doing something wrong. What she is doing, is the most important thing in the world to her. More important than her child, obviously.
Studies show, that when faced with a choice between, "change your actions, or change your morals", most people change their morals to condone their actions. Your "wife" is clearly in the majority group. So, dont bother trying to "convince" her that what she is doing is wrong. It's a waste of breath.
PS: stop trying to convince YOURSELF of things, too. You really 'wish that for her'? Then you are rather twisted and sick inside, and dodging your real feelings
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
