Blowing up only works for balloons!

[JenInVen]

My title comes from my sitch and actions Friday night.

I blew my top again and got myself in huge trouble once again with my sitch. Take it from me...keep your cool and you'll go far fast.

XH just picked up D to go to his friends house for football and dinner. He told me Friday afternoon (before the explosion) that he doesn't invite me to go with them because he can never tell how I'll react/act. He said the smallest thing could get me irritated and he doesn't like to play the guessing game. I proved him right didn't I on Friday night.

My large and important goal is to be calm, cool and relaxed; to not let stupid stuff bug the life out of me; to pick my battles; and to decide what takes me closer to my goals.

[istherehope]

Sorry Jen...

At least you know what you did, and are now ready to pick up the pieces and start over. DBing is exhausting and often thankless work. It is SO easy to backslide, and even when reading the success stories, you will see that most people have had numerous backslides. I had a pretty big one myself about 10 days ago, but what I DID gain from it was an increased resolve to do better. Sounds like you have this too.

ITH

[One Day]

Good goals Jen! XH is giving you a clear message on what to change and it sounds like you're going for it! Hope you're having a good weekend,

L. xx

[JenInVen]

Thanks Lisa...I hope I get this before it's too late.

[One Day]

At the risk of trotting out a cliche, it's not over until you decide it is

You're already getting it- consistency is the key I think and you've made such good progress already.

L. xx

[JenInVen]

Cliches are fine

Yes I think I do get it. Now is where I need to be consistant with it. Thanks for putting it in perspective because here I was thinking I didn't get it but I really do.

[Separated]

Hey Jen!! Yes, please don't be a balloon anymore. You know exactly what you were doing wrong and now thats half the battle. the other battle will be controlling it. If you see/hear something that upsets you, take a few breaths and try to think it through. You will do just fine and can turn this around and prove H wrong.

L

[maninmotion]

Cliches are fine

Yes I think I do get it. Now is where I need to be consistant with it. Thanks for putting it in perspective because here I was thinking I didn't get it but I really do.

Hi Jen, brush the dust off and continue. Remember, I have my own demons to deal with, but, I've got your back and I'm pulling for you with every thought word and deed.

Dan

[JenInVen]

Thanks Sep and Dan!

I've been saying this for a long time...I can do this.

Thanks for your support and encouragement

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Jen!
I wonder in your sitch..its very much about showing him you've changed and telling yourself, next time it will be different. But maybe the reason these things happen, is becuase you may have changed from when you were M, but you havent fully integrated those changes and he is still aware of that and therefore nervous of bringing you back into his life. Its all very well to resolve to act a certain way and get back on the DB horse, but maybe what you need to do is work on yourself and why you keep acting like this? When you say:

"My large and important goal is to be calm, cool and relaxed; to not let stupid stuff bug the life out of me; to pick my battles"

why battle at all??? Life is too short for battles and you are in a very precarious position! You are already D. What more can you do to address your control issues? Theres lessons in this for all of us, I see it so much all over these boards. For me and some others, it is already too late, but it isnt too late for you !! Rooting for you...

Ali xxx