Thank you for checking in. I do write from the heart, and when I need to get something out. Funny, I've always been that way, and I'm surprised when others aren't as forthcoming, really. A huge reason I was so blindsided by x's revelations of being miserable for years, and his perceptions of how I was treating him and feeling about the marriage.
I don't feel stuck, though. F, like you pointed out, I am in a completely different place than last year. As different as the year before. I know that there is a ratcheting up of understanding / acceptance / growth through this whole thing. And some of my revelations seem to be circular - like I'm discovering the same thing over and over again. The thing is, each time I go through it, I get a little deeper, a little further along towards where I need to be. I just don't think my head could have grasped it all, all at once.
And I tend to get melancholy when the kids are away (his weekend). S13 told me that the three of them are going to look at a house down in town today. But I'm not really down...reflective, maybe?
The storm passed and it is a clear, beautiful day.
