I decided to move to the seperated forum because obviously I did not belong in piecing any longer. I wonder if I ever belonged there. I wanted to name my thread "going through the same sh$t twice" like Kalni described...but decided against it. D7 is much better this morning. She says stuff like I will spend every weekend with you daddy as opposed to last night's I'll be lost without you. So, I need to turn that page and close the chapter....the book will be hard to put down however because of D7. There will be a certain amount of contact with W and for D7's sake I need to keep my anger in check. During supper I have to admit that I was a little nasty at times. At one point W complained about hot flashes and I suggested perhaps these were early signs of menopause. Knowing how much she hates the idea of aging, that was a low blow. She is also having problems with one of her fingers which could be early stages of arthritis which does run in her family. W is falling apart...maybe I traded her in just in time (some will say I should have done it a long time ago / btw before anybody gets irritated with the trading in thing, I am only joking)....actually she did not look as good as usual.....maybe she has been drinking more than usual. One thing that I found strange is that she actually asked for a hug and a kiss (on both cheeks) upon my arrival (probably to show D7 that we were friends). During supper she was touchy at some points....not sexual touchy but more touchy than you would be with a friend. I found that a litle uncomfortable and withdrew a little bit. When we parted I extended the hug and she whispered in my ear let's not give D7 any false hope. Weather does not look very nice but after lunch D7 and I will get out a little bit....spend some quality time...try to laugh a little....I think we both need it.
I am actually sorry to be first on your thread here. You have to keep anger in check. It wont do you any good. Take it easy on you... I am around if you need to vent. K
john, Sorry to hear of the most recent devlopments. I don't know what to tell you as I'm not in your shoes and if there's one thing I've learnt it's that I get advice from people who really have no clue what they are talking about - when it's their life on the line the story will be different. Anyway, I hope you are not being too hasty and can find a way to deal with the anger. Last night I had an awful dream featuring my W and where I got very angry with W. I remember the dream in vivid detail and it was triggered by something traumatic that happened to my d12 this week. I realize I've been suppressing my anger for months which is not such a good thing either. Also I've managed to stay celebant for over 18 months - perhaps for life, god only knows our futures. You may want to review Lan's threads for some inspiration.
John - I am sorry that you are out of piecing. I am guessing that there is still some hope, but that it is up to your W to convince you of it. For now, you just deal with whatever legal matters that you feel are necessary.
If your M does not work out, you have come out of this better as a person. You just need to get a clear picture of your life ahead of you. I am sure there are many good ladies that would be drawn to you like a magnet.
The statistics are bad in reconciliation success, but at least we all can still cheer on BobbiJo.
K, I suggest you bring this new topic up with the moderators because I have a hunch a bunch of nice people will soon be out there looking for love and will undoubtedly find it. It would be nice to read about folks who get over their WAS and move forward.....by the way I am flattereded to have the world famous Kalni close out a thread and start a new one.
fb2, i wonder if any of us have a clue of what we are talking about. At best what we do is take our past experiences and try to suggest things to other folks. Now that I have gotten the double whammy, it is obvious that I will be suggesting to BBJ for instance to be very careful. You are right though that it is alot easier to tell someone else for example that they need to detach for their own good but at the same time we all struggle with this.
Kerry, is there still hope? Very very little I would say. like i said somewhere else, the only way this may work is if W did a total 180 and even then i would have my doubts. Actually, there is no hope left.....it is time to face reality....where she is now and where i am / would like her to be is light years apart. I really hope that I will be able to instill some of my morals to D7 and perhaps D7 can get her drive from her mom....that would be ideal. I don't feel much like a magnet these days but who knows what the future holds. I will keep cheering for BBJ and others in piecing with their efforts to reconcile and for the rest of us to refind true happiness without our WASs.
Just read something from a poster on M from Tenn.'s thread regarding security and fatherhood. i think that may be what part of the problem is...recently, I have not given her the security that she craves deep down inside because her dad pretty much ignored her as a child and continues to do so. Ok...enough psycoanalysis for tonight.
John - If I could fluently speak the romance languages of French and Italian plus put together an awesome golf score like you, I sure would feel like a chick magnet.
