Hi LAN my sitch is similiar with the exception of the A personally the jurys out on councelling I think it can certainly help but I think it can also do a lot of harm. The bottom line is your W has to want it if you push her into it she will only resent you for it. I've felt my W would be very happy with our "plutonic" relationship for ever so I've set some boundries for my self as I too am expected to provide all the same duties as I did before the bomb. We've had some constructive conversations regarding this and I think she sees the big picture so though I will not put any definate time lines on things she knows I will not wait for ever and the balls in her court . She loves to avoid issues and almost always there is no resolution but I'm learning to deal with things a little bit a time which makes it easier for her to handle. I find at times it helps to focus on myself and the kids when I find myself wanting for that physicalness that is so sadly lacking in our R. It's sometimes frustrating to cary on the "false front" in front of family and friends but I'm finding were connecting on other levels (friendship)and in a way are closer than many of our friends so it isn't as uncomfortable any more. The answers are not only in the books but in our hearts and our heads C.
