I feel bad that I am still vulnerable to stress, even though I am slowly finding some peace in my situation
If you weren't so sick, I would come over and kick your hiney. Nocode, the heart and mind can only take so much before the body takes over your stress. Some eat, some don't eat, some sleep too much, some don't sleep at all, some drink, some take drugs, some lose attention span, some focus on organization, and the list goes on. And some (most) internalize, try to process, and it manifests into something physical: headaches, back/neck aches, ulcers, anything.
This doesn't make you weak, this doesn't mean you aren't doing the work to get yourself through this.
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I am ashamed that this is a poor reflection on my faith in God. that I am still not good at giving my worries over to Him as I should.
AND IT MOST DEFINATELY DOESN'T MEAN THIS!!!!
You would be much lower, in a much worse spot if you haven't leaned on God this entire time.
'Nuff lecturing. But I just can't watch you be so hard on yourself.
I am so sorry about your episode with the kids. Being sick with kids around is so hard and stressful. I have been in the pickle you were before, and its not easy. You did everything right. I am very happy to see that you wife showed compassion and offered assistance when you needed it.
Once you get checked out and leveled out on some meds, you'll be feeling so much better. I am thinking of you. Take it easy and take care.
