Treese, You are doing exactly what God wants you to do, i.e., take care of, nourish and love your children. They are gifts from heaven and should be treated w/love and compassion.
All of your children miss their father, but a son will most of all because of the male bonding issues. I do hope that your h realized last night that your son was right there beside him trying to understand why he was checking out the car. Your h has so much to be thankful for...you, the children, home, his job and health. He doesn't realize the wealth he has and won't for a long time.
You may not even realize it, but you are doing very well. You are getting stronger each and every day. Yes, the bombs will come raining down on you again when the results come back, but you'll be just a bit stronger by that time. I'm praying that your h will do the right things and then focus on himself so that he can figure out himself and where he wants to be in life.
Please take care of yourself. It's hard, but you are doing well, in spite of it all. Can you plan to do something special with the children today?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
