Quoting LonelyAtNight: She said it has nothing to do with me and it’s her.
Oh how I hate hearing that statement!! I've come to the conclusion its a response to justify turning away from R vs. working on it. If they acknowledge it was an issue involving us, then they are acknowledging any hope that it can be changed as they know we will try to improve on our involvement, ... like, " ... its me, and I can't make it better, so you are going to have to accept its not gonna get better." ... yes, its very frustrating to be on the receiving end of that statement and its usually given in a tone that comes across as if you should be alright with that!
Sorry, LAN, not much in the way offering anything productive, but I can validate...
I've come to the conclusion its a response to justify turning away from R vs. working on it. If they acknowledge it was an issue involving us, then they are acknowledging any hope that it can be changed as they know we will try to improve on our involvement, ... like, " ... its me, and I can't make it better, so you are going to have to accept its not gonna get better." ... yes, its very frustrating to be on the receiving end of that statement and its usually given in a tone that comes across as if you should be alright with that! 
