That’s exactly what my situation has been. After piecing back together, we have been nowhere and more than three years has passed by. In term of progress, it is somewhat slow to the point where thing like you said goes nowhere.
I guess she must have realized that we couldn’t just stay with this way forever because like I said for the first time since her affair she was willing to read some of the books related to this life-event. She said I DID give her a second chance to have her here, so she wanted to do the same thing by giving me a second chance. By that, she meant to “love” and to desire me again physically and emotionally. If I remember correctly, she said that she wanted to learn/know how to be attractive to me again. She said it has nothing to do with me and it’s her.
The problem is she is too busy with school and part-time work that she has no energy/time to do anything else, even to read the books that I gave her a couple months ago.
Returning to school after 20 years, I guess, made it hard for her to adjust and she is still struggling with it.
In term of counseling, the resistance is still there. To her, it will cost $$$, be permanent record, and time consuming. In a nutshell, she doesn’t want to deal with it because she thinks that it would only benefit me. Why? Because she sees this as winner and loser and I have been trying to convince her that it’s for her own good.
I guess it has to do with “sex”. She doesn’t want it, but I want it. If she gives it then she is a loser and I’m a winner. Did you see her logic here? I mentioned to her that marriage is a two-way street, but she didn’t buy it.
I might have to talk a lawyer instead of a counselor as an option if this is what she wants because a “talk” without an action makes us go nowhere.
