In a nutshell, I think I’m in the same boat when it comes to a subject of communicating with my wife. She doesn’t want to talk about thing and let it take its own course because in her mind there is nothing to talk about it, especially when it comes to intimacy. To her, all I want is to have “sex” with her. I’ve tried to explain to her before that that’s not what it’s all about. I mentioned to her that what we’re doing right now is not what we should be doing as a married couple – sleeping separately, no hug, no kiss, no deep talk, no time alone together, and so on. I felt like I was just there as a provider and/or fulfilled my duty as a father to my children and made sure that everything should be intact, no matter what whether I’m happy or not.
About a month ago while watching TV about Mrs. Clinton revealed her book, we ended up talking about what happened to us and my wife’s affair. That’s triggered all sorts of things and we ended up talking about things that we shouldn’t have. And then again, my wife kept telling me about the things that she would do to change our endless cycle that we were in. For the first time, she’s willing to read the books and asked me to give her some of the books that I had been reading in the past. I gave her couple books to read and I have not heard about it since. It has been more than a month or so. I have not seen anything happening either related to what she said she would do. I was thinking about bringing it up again, and then I was not so sure about it. Besides, she switched to a full time job for the summer about two weeks ago. She is also going to school two nights a week. With all these going on, I don’t think she even has time to do anything related to us because when it comes to me, I’m not even on her list, left alone doing anything for me or related to me.
However, she is expecting me to do everything for her, for the kids, for the house, you name it. When I asked her to spend time with me for a moment on Saturday night, she said she had to study, but ended up with watching TV with the kids until 2:00 am and wouldn’t wake up until noon the next day. She spent all day Saturday with her side of family along with the kids and of course including me because I had to drive. Like I said when it comes to me, there is no time, but when it comes to her family and the kids she has time. I don’t have any problem with spending time with the kids and once a while with her side of family, but almost every weekend and by the time we got home it was almost midnight. Then, that’s it, we went to our own bed room. The same cycle starts again. It is almost that is her plan to make it happens that way so that there is no time for just the two of us.
I think I might have to do some kind of 180 somehow.
