Finishing the Spiritual Divorce, but also a few books on ideas for lessons. I was greeted at the beginning of school with yet another curriculum, layered over the standard one I am supposed to integrate. Now we have reading, writing, math, sci, SS, Peace, and the new International Program. Oh, and I teach art
On another note, I was reading a bit on here, and I started to well up.....
I loved him. I have always loved him. And he betrayed me, broke his vows.
I think I am still blaming myself for a lot of it. Like the hidden fears buried inside all these years were really true.
And I have to forgive myself.
I have forgiven him, but I think at the expense of forgiving me. And that can't work.
There is a fine line between being introspective and honest for our parts in the mess that lead us here, and taking on all of the blame. I think I erred on the side of the later.
But I can't help but be so very sorry. Sorry for losing what was so important to me. Sorry for not being able to fix it for my kids, for all of us. Sorry that he hurt.
