I don’t know what else to say or where to begin. It has been a while since I posted on my own thread. After passing through some of the posts here from old friends, it made me feel like I’m not alone in term of unhappiness after piecing back together. Lately Andy seemed to be one of them and now Tbone and maybe someone else that I missed.
I don’t know what happiness really is – having a family intact, being with someone you love, being married, and so on. On the surface, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with us. We talk, laugh, go places, and get together with family almost every week. Everything is normal as a typical family, but when it comes to our private life, thing doesn’t seem to happen that way. Almost all normal things have become abnormal (to me, not to my wife) – sleeping in a separate bedroom, hardly being alone together, no touching, hugging, kissing, or even sitting next to each other watching TV.
When it comes to sex, there is almost none to speak off. Only after a “thousand times” when I mentioned it, she would come over to my room and just lay there for me to touch and then she would only do a hand job just to help me (she refused to have anything else ever since her affair almost 4 years ago). I felt so cheap of doing so, and I didn’t want to do that any more and this “sex” thing only happened a few times so far.
She said there is nothing wrong with me; she just doesn’t have any desire for me any more and is perfectly happy without it. She doesn’t know why and she asks me to think of her as being “sick” when it comes to intimacy. By doing so, she said, my sex drive would eventually die off and we would live happily ever after.
Lately, I have been thinking more and more about divorce. That’s where I’m.
