late night rambling a bit. Haven't done this in awhile.
Suddenly feel low. lonely, I guess. I don't know what I want anymore, or who I am.
Part of me wants to be pissed so I can get over this faster. But the D still isn't final! How can things keep dragging on like this!
And still I think of our last interaction. The way she hugged me, held my hand. Why do that? How is this going to end?
I already know the answer to that. The D will be final. In a year or so I'll be dating, will have 3 or 4 short-term Rs that don't work, but will find someone. Meanwhile, W will have reverted to her old patterns and be unable to make a R work for more than 6 months. Eventually she'll find someone, but she'll have a lot of regret. She already does.
Anyway, this is all in my mind. She's off with OM. Her muse. blech.
