Aussie Girl - Patience might finally be paying off

[Dawn of Hope]

I read your post Transformer yesterday, had a big old cry, but then picked myself up and went out last night with friends.

Thank you for reassuring me. I still dont know why I had such a big crash yesterday... today I feel like 'stuff him, he's the one missing out on having fun with me'. I guess it was kind of scary to realise that I still am trying to have control of the situation, and I'm not! And that he can disappoint me so much, even when I thought I had resolved those questions.

The old Essie would have replied to H's text and insisted he see me on Saturday cause that is more convenient for me! So I guess its good that even though I fell in a dark hole, H didnt see it!

Part of me believes everything that you girls are saying about how H really does want to see me, and that this is just the process. The other part thinks this is never going to work, I'm always going to want more than he will give me..... I know I'm jumping too far ahead. AAAHHHHHHHH!

Anyway in good news I feel much better and stronger today so if I do see him, then I will be able to be happy and fun and care free!

Essie,
I believe you know what to do, all you need now is to get your head and your heart on the same page! I think you are doing very well! Really, is there anyone in the sort of sitch that brings us all to this board who doesn't have at least the occasional mini-crash? They sure don't feel good, but I would be amazed if anyone escaped them completely.

Are you familiar Down Under with a silly little dance called the Hokey-Pokey? If so, imagine the following sung to that tune:

You take two steps forward,
Take another step back;
You take a half-step sideways
And you shake your head a lot;

You do the MLC dance
And you spin and spin in place;
That's what...it's all...about!!

<bows> Thank you! Thankyouverymuch!

So congratulations, you've just proven that you're a human being, not a robot who can completely let a MLCer's actions slide right off! We are all trying to detach, but I doubt that anyone does it perfectly all the time. Don't beat yourself up about it; you recovered very quickly, and best of all, your H never knew about it!

In my field of expertise (lettering arts), one of the big names in the business coined a phrase (okay, it might be borrowed from elsewhere): "You can't call yourself a professional until you know how to correct your mistakes." Mistakes and backslides are just about inevitable; the thing you really need is the ability to recover quickly from them. You clearly have that down, so no more negative thoughts about slipping up! Besides which, Lisa is right...this sort of emotional backlash to the changing sitch is probably more normal than otherwise.

I admire how well you are doing!

Peace,
Dawn