Thanks all!! I do need to update my own thread. Really limited on time and trying to keep up with some "new" people that I've picked up in the last few weeks.
I actually don't have time to update now.. but I will soon!!
((everyone))
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
totally understand Nik, I think I left my own thread for a couple months!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Hugs and Hi to ST, Babygirl, Separated, SMW, Changed Woman, Poet, and GF (and everyone else I may have missed!)
Thank you all so much for your support. I'm glad I can help some of you, too.
Replies...
ST You are SO right about continuing to take care of yourself. So easy to lose track of - and it's so critical.
I haven't had any dinner parties again but have been really wanting to do something! Actually H and I have been talking about wanting to throw a big party too (one of those invite everybody and have a crazy party ones!). My birthday's in a few weeks and he originally thought about making it a BD party.. but he said then he'd feel guilty asking for my help and he couldn't do it without me. Aww. I would also be WAY uncomfortable with that much attention to my BD.. so I think we might do it the weekend after.
Babygirl I know that guilt thing all too well! Do your best to lose that.. there is NOTHING wrong with doing good things for you.
Separated Wow that was brave!! Yes it would take a lonnng time to read them all, I can't even imagine. I'm glad you found some inspiration there.
Poet Sorry I haven't visited you in awhile! You happen to have moved to the one forum that I almost never read. I'll track ya down soon!
SMW I'll stop by shortly and check out your letter.
---------------------------------- OK so.. the update!
I can't even remember the last time I really posted, but things continue to be really good.
We went out racing a couple weekends ago - think I posted about that already but I can't find it! Anyway it was great to be out in the car again. It was "school" not an actual race so I got to go for a ride. Fun stuff!
We also went to the state fair a number of times, particularly over Labor Day weekend. It was a lot of fun as always. We kept going kinda late and ended up missing a lot of the exhibits (the buildings close earlier than the outdoor stuff) - we were disappointed with that but had fun anyway. H even said one of the times "I always have so much fun going to the fair with you" - thought that was really nice.
On the last day we went H was in a kinda crappy mood and I was proud of myself - I did NOT take it personally! Yay me! Normally I'd be wondering what I did to cause it. At first I was just kinda "ignoring" it and "as if" everything was fine then somehow it hit me that it wasn't the right approach. It looks like I'm just not paying attention! So I said "H you seem kinda down, anything wrong?" He said "Nah.. just in a blah mood, not even sure why. Just blah." I said "Aw I'm sorry, it's frustrating to feel blah and not even know why." He gave me a big hug.. and held my hand all the way into the fair. Later on he was fine and acknowledged it, said he was glad he felt better and had snapped out of his funk.
I haven't done anything "big" for me in awhile but a few little things. This will sound hilarious as a 180 but it is... I finally gave up on a couple of my sickly houseplants and threw them away. I will normally not do that unless they are completely dead - I'll keep nursing them along thinking someday they'll come back! One of them was seriously 1 half brown leaf that I've been attempting to revive for.. um.. 4 years I think?? geez. I replaced them with a couple of really exotic looking plants that were on special at the grocery store. I have no idea what they even are, but they're pretty and H also noticed right away, he really liked them. I decided I want to do more "indoor landscaping".. more plants that can do well in low light, etc. Dunno why exactly, it just sounds fun. I also went and got some nice pots for them instead of the basic cheapo plastic ones they were in. Makes the whole room look a lot "nicer"! I never thought pottery would make that much difference.
This weekend doing a lot of catching up on stuff (some fun some just chores) that I've been wanting to get done.
Earlier this week my Dad found out that my Stepmom (who left him in Feb of 07) is dating someone. It really sent him into a tailspin, he said it was almost as bad as the initial separation. He'd been doing a lot better so I was bummed out to see this. Doing my best to help him get through it. I wish he had done more to "DB"... he read about half the book but that was it and none of it sunk in. He's been begging, pleading, pursuing for the entire time - and NOT doing any of the stuff she told him he needed to do to even have a chance at her coming back (geez.. how many of us would LOVE to have our spouses send us a detailed list, like she did?? Didn't help though). So, that's been kinda rough. It's been awkward talking to H about it too but he's actually been really great.
Had one kind of odd R talk. It started off because H said to me "I noticed you've been a lot stronger lately." I don't even know what prompted him to say it - but I said "Thanks!" Then asked "You mean physically or.." And he replied "Well yeah physically but I actually meant mentally, emotionally. I've noticed it over the last few months, you just seem a lot stronger." Wow.. that was interesting. Maybe I'm finally letting my anxiety fade a bit??
.. except... I thanked him at first and took it as a compliment, the way he intended. Then my darn anxiety creeped in - BUT, I think you guys will be proud of how I handled it. I said "H thank you so much for saying that. I know this might not make sense but it scares me a little bit too. I'm afraid you're saying now that I'm stronger you're going to leave again.'" He hugged me tight and said "I'm not going anywhere.. I'm staying right here." I admit it, I cried...
I hate that I can't just take things like that the way he intends them, but I'm proud of myself for talking to him about it instead of letting it build inside.
R wise.. I did it, started slipping ILY's in there more like at bedtime, and it did what I had hoped - he likes hearing it, and he's saying it more too. I've also gotten a couple of more serious ILY's.. the ones that aren't just "Have a good day, ILY".
I've been texting H more too and he really likes it.. still have a little bit of an issue with it but I'm working hard to get over it! Just little notes during the day. He said the other day he likes getting my "love notes."
Last night we went to dinner at H's friend's house. He used to be a really good friend but has kinda cut off contact with a lot of his older friends - not out of "spite" or anything, he just sucks at calling back and making plans! So his W surprised him and invited us and a few other friends over. He was sooo happy she did that, it was pretty neat. Their M was very rocky around the time of bomb 1 for me.. so it was great to see them happy together again.
Whew.. think that's about it!
I'm excited to plan this party together. Normally we send invites months ahead so this is a little 180 for me to do something on such "short" notice... hopefully it goes well. It will be so cool to have a party where I actually know people, too! In the past it might be 1 coworker or something that I knew, my Mom, and then 50-100 of H's friends and co-workers! Some were mmutual friends but often I didn't even know half the people who were at my own house... it was odd. So I'm happy to have more of "my" friends to invite this time.
(Michelle... keep an eye out for an invite! Hope you can come!)
OK.. off to catch up on Poet and SMW and then forcing myself OFF the darn computer for the rest of the day.
Thanks again all. Hope you have a great weekend!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Hey there friend!! AWESOME girl! I am so proud of you!!! I just want you to know that!! Yea I will try and kick that guilt away, it just may take a bit of time. I am so glad you are ok, and things are going well, you give me lotsa hope!! HUGS!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Thank you Dave, and Babygirl! Good to hear from you both. Hope everyone's having a good weekend.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
