Thanks for looking in on me. My S's and I weathered Hanna this morning. Lots of heavy rain, high wind, looked a little scary, especially for my boys, but there was no damage and did not lose power even once, which is a blessing. The sun even came out late this afternoon, although everything was very soggy.
<grossness warning:>
Yesterday was a very bad day for me. I guess I'm under way too much stress -- more so than I realized. First, I nearly choked on my lunch as I was trying to wolf it down (trying to get back to work). I won't do that again.
Then, after work, I picked up my S's at Chik-Fil-A -- that's where W decided to meet me for an exchange (I have ceased trying to figure out her insane logic.) She didn't even feed them either, just let them go to the play area, then when I arrived she told me I could feed them. As soon as I transferred our S's belongings from her vehicle to mine she got out of there. Nice.
I let my S's finish their play and then told them it was time to leave. Naturally they didn't want to leave. It was then I started feeling extremely ill, the sick feeling I had had in my stomach ever since lunch became overwhelming. I started to black out. I sat down to try to fight for my bearings, put my head between my knees. I then dragged my S's with me to the men's room. I proceeded to toss my cookies -- only it wasn't natural. I was throwing up blood, black blood.
It scared the daylights out of my oldest. Both of them were wanting to stay outside the restroom, but I didn't think it was safe for them to be alone out there. Eventually I managed to clean myself up -- I was drenched in sweat, but no longer dizzy.
Somehow the Lord watched over us as I drove through the rain back to my apartment. I worried I might black out at any moment, so I drove slowly. Just as I was pulling into a parking space, I began to feel myself go. I managed to stop the engine, put the car in park and threw open the door. I had an empty grocery store bag at the ready and proceeded to throw up again. The rain actually felt surprisingly good.
I got us all inside, put everything away and proceeded to the bathroom. I sat on the ceramic tile floor, panting. S7 brought me the phone, I dialed W and gave the phone back to him. I told him to talk to his mother and tell her she might have to come get S7 and S3.
W went into her clinical nurse-mode, asked about the vomit, its color and consistency. She concluded that it was likely an ulcer that had been bleeding for some time, slowly filling my stomach. The black blood was old blood.
W offered to take me to the hospital, but first had me check my blood pressure. S7 found the blood-pressure cuff after some searching, and my blood pressure was acceptable -- I wasn't yet to the point where I might be bleeding to death. W told me to take some pink stuff and begin taking some Prilosec or Zantac. She told me to monitor my blood pressure. She would stay by the phone in case I needed to go to the ER. I thanked her and hung up.
Obviously I made it through the night, and through the storm, and have been taking it very easy since. I still feel a bit ill, weakened. But no more spitting up blood. I will schedule an appointment with my doctor on Monday.
I feel bad that I am still vulnerable to stress, even though I am slowly finding some peace in my situation. I am ashamed that this is a poor reflection on my faith in God. that I am still not good at giving my worries over to Him as I should. I am still working on this apparently.
