Do Something DIFFERENT

[Laurie]

Dear JoJo,
I hear your struggle with trying to keep up a healthy balance of connection and living your own life (aka - "not always available"). Your phone didn't work one day, so that created an unpredictable behavior from you, right? If you are not sure what is different, as your 1st paragraph says, then I would encourage you to journal your behavior in the recent past or start now. It can be very helpful to review, as our memories can get a bit clouded. A journal could also be useful to map how consistent you are with any types of changes you make.

Now, do I understand since he attempted those calls, that he has not called since? But, you sound a bit worried or possibly are you a bit anxious at this point?

Regarding being needy and sharing the news about your mom, I wonder how A responds when you've been needy in the past? Does he get quiet, angry, distant, etc.? When he has reacted to your neediness (at least what he thinks is neediness), what are you generally saying or doing (using whiney cliches, a sad tone, defeated body language, etc.)?

Does talking about your mom fit under the category of you sounding needy? The thing I thought A responded caringly about was any news about your folks. Do I remember that correctly? If so, sharing your mom's situation may not fit under the "needy" category. I don't know this for sure, but simply asking you about that.

JJ, what are your thoughts?

(And many hugs back!)