before you freak, just get some legal counsel. With his increased income and limited parental responsibilities, it may well be that you come out okay. Even with your "imputed income" - 30 hrs/wk x $17/hr = about $25,000/yr, minus increased childcare expenses: sick-day care for your kids,( as an RT job wouldn't accommodate you taking off the 20-30 sick days a large family like yours can easily rack up), full-time daycare in summers, etc. - your actual income might be very little different from now.
Let's say it works out to an additional $6,000 a year in childcare expenses. THEN consider the fact that as a new hire RT, you would not be likely to get the day shift - so add in childcare costs for working evenings or graveyard....
Sit down, do the math, figure out the bottom line. If your income goes up by $20,000, but your childcare expenses go up by $10,000, and meanwhile H's income has risen - it may be a wash. If you can document all that and show him the numbers, he might realize it's not worth going to court over. Don't forget to include any increases in other costs for your family.
Don't bother to discuss your career goals with him. What's happening is, he's learning that it's a lot more expensive to live on the East Coast, especially as a DINK eating out at restaurants etc., and the true financial cost of divorce is finally hitting him. It doesn't help you to tell him he owes you a chance to develop your art - he'll just be jealous of your success.
Bear in mind, it's not unreasonable for him to want to use an "imputed income" to calculate child support. You don't HAVE to work as an RT, you can still choose to live on less and pursue your art. Just make sure that those calculations include ALL the real-life costs of going to work at that kind of job.
And don't forget, you are dealing with the world's biggest weenie.
