Thank you so much Transformer, JCJ and One Day. I love you guys.
I read your post Transformer yesterday, had a big old cry, but then picked myself up and went out last night with friends. Thank you for reassuring me. I still dont know why I had such a big crash yesterday... today I feel like 'stuff him, he's the one missing out on having fun with me'. I guess it was kind of scary to realise that I still am trying to have control of the situation, and I'm not! And that he can disappoint me so much, even when I thought I had resolved those questions.
The old Essie would have replied to H's text and insisted he see me on Saturday cause that is more convenient for me! So I guess its good that even though I fell in a dark hole, H didnt see it!
Part of me believes everything that you girls are saying about how H really does want to see me, and that this is just the process. The other part thinks this is never going to work, I'm always going to want more than he will give me..... I know I'm jumping too far ahead. AAAHHHHHHHH!
So its still unresolved about the tickets. Its mid-morning now and I need to go and see Dad for Father's Day. No word from H. The tickets are for Saturday (in 6 days time), so I feel like I need to give them to him pretty soon so that he doesn't make other plans and he can find someone to go with him....
Anyway in good news I feel much better and stronger today so if I do see him, then I will be able to be happy and fun and care free!
I'm going to re-read your posts over and over until it sinks into my head! xxxxxxxxxxxx
