I don't want to presume to speak for Bworl so I am going to tell you how I read Bworl's post...
it seems like you tell us all of these horrible things that happen between you (and violence is ALWAYS wrong...shoving pizza in her face or spitting water at her or her throwing tubs of whatever at you are all not only morally wrong but punishable legally as well. There is no excuse...because you see it all the time doesn't make it ok)
so if you don't want things to be horrible you have to change the dynamic.
instead of getting all in a snit because someone says something you don't like and discounting anything they say, take a moment and consider it
people are offering you advice because they have been where you are
when you pray for patience, you are not GIVEN patience, you are given the opportunity to use patience, to find it within yourself.
what you are doing with your wife is not working
instead of looking for excuses why it isn't working
do the hard work and find something that does
TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT
be proactive instead of reactive meet her spew with kindness
her anger with grace
only don't do it in a self-righteous way
do it out of love do it to be a better person yourself do it if she finds her way back or not
you do need help the violence and degradation that you speak about is deafening
the lessons you are teaching your children by these interactions is unhealthy and sad
