Here's a thought for you, straight from one of my son's football coaches...
Quote:
If you want something you've never had, you will have to do something you've never done.
It doesn't sound to me like the relationship between you and your wife has EVER been right.
You make lots of excuses for yourself as to why you CAN'T do things that people suggest here.
I've read far too many times how poorly she would react to you actually taking a stand on some of this absolutely ridiculous behavior.
It's nothing more than excuses.
Because, as my son's football coach would tell his players, it's HARD and UNCOMFORTABLE to do something you've never done before.
It takes courage and a true strength of personal conviction (that is, KNOWING that what you are standing up about MUST be changed) to be willing to accept crap from a person because you INSIST that things change and be made right.
It's far easier to continue allowing the same ridiculous, poor, disfunctional behavior.
It's easier for US - we don't have to change.
It's easier for US - we don't have to face their wrath.
It's easier for US - we don't have to be afraid of alienating completely from our lives.
Easier.
But easier will NOT get you that thing that you've always wanted, but have NEVER, EVER possessed.
I believe it was Einstein who said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome.
If you continue to DO the same....you will GET the same result.
As so many others have pointed out...until you are willing and able to LEAVE the comfort of "things the way they are," you will NEVER provoke change in the dynamics between you and your wife.
Period.
You can hope for it, pray for it, whatever else you want to do about it. If you don't at some point take some SIGNIFICANT steps to CHANGE the way the two of you BEHAVE, NOTHING will change between the two of you.
And, as Einstein points out, it is insanity to think otherwise.
If you want something you've NEVER had, you have to do something you've NEVER done before.
Think about that a bit.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
