Just a couple of days ago a thought crossed my mind for the first time that I might not want X back.
I have this thought all the time. I think it is healthy at this stage of your R to question what you want. It also means that she has some work to do to win you over , which is not a bad thing at all. Your W is going to have to make some changes for you to have her back as well , thats if you two are ever to have a great relationship going forward.
