Navy Wife--The Toughest Job In The Fleet

[smartcookie]

SMW, I think this is a great letter. It explains how you feel, & what you'd like to happen. I'm just going to throw out some ideas, not necessarily corrections, just different wording or phrasing....

Another deployment. I was thinking about how lucky we have been thus far.

**it bugs me when H talks about "we". I want him to talk about himself, & let me decide for me.

We have been married almost 14 years and this is will only be our third full cruise. Not too many Navy couples can say that! I count my blessings every day, but I miss you so much when you are away.

We have seven months ahead of us. It seems like so much time. I will be spending it thinking, reflecting, maturing. Now that I am attending church again and have given my life over to God, I see so many areas where I have made mistakes in my life, areas that ultimately affected us and our relationship. The biggest one was having my priorities straight from the beginning. God first, then you, then the kids and then the rest of life. It is the way it is supposed to be and I failed to do so. Now that I have let god in, he is helping me get it right.

** does he believe this is the order or priorities ? How does he feel about your relationship with God ? **

I owe so many apologies I do not even know where to begin.

** What about just saying "I sincerely want to apologize about some things"

First, I apologize for not allowing you to be the head of our family. I usurped your position, taking on responsibilities--like the bills and disciplining the kids—that should have belonged to you. I always used the excuse that it was easier for me to take charge of things because of your career and deployments, when the reality was that I had an overwhelming need to be in control. I was wrong and I hope you can forgive me.

** He may not want the responsibility of the disciplining, & bills, maybe you could apologize for the control part, but offer to be a full partner & support him as being head of household type thing.


I also apologize for failing to give you me. You deserved more quality time with me, for us, in our marriage. In the beginning, it was oh so easy. But, as our little family grew, I allowed the kids’ needs to take priority over yours. I failed to see that you needed time from me, too, and I ended up neglecting the most important person in my life because of my short-sightedness. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend time with you, I just always figured things would balance out once the kids got older and you would always be there.

Perfect !

Where do we go from here? I don’t know. I still believe in us, in the love we built a 13 ½ year marriage on. I made a promise on the rainy

** I'd leave out rainy, sounds dreary, lol **

January day that I still keep. The promise was for better or for worse. I pray daily that this is the for worse and the better is still in our future.

Our old marriage is gone, buried under mistakes too numerous to mention.

** i'd leave out "buried under mistakes too numerous to mention", he may think you're pointing the finger at him**

You were right, I do deserve better. But, honey, so do you, and

**I'd leave that part out, he may think you're implying you deserve better than him.

My dream is that we can build a better marriage together, using the foundation from the old one.

Our family has asked can I ever forgive you.

**I'd leave that part out.

Sweetheart, I already have forgiven you.

I will continue to ask God to help me maintain that forgiveness until the day I no longer remember why I needed to forgive you in the first place.

** I'd leave that out too, sounds like it's going to be years & years, & that could be discouraging

I only hope that one day you will be able to forgive me, too.

Perfect !

H, I love you. I have loved you almost from the moment we met, and I will always love you. Whether you are gone 7 months, a year, forever, I will still be here, honoring the promise I made and the love we shared, raising our children, and maintaining our home.

Perfect.

My heart is so full and I could write so much more, but I have said enough for now.

He's already overwhelmed. (teasing)

The children and I, you family, will be waiting on the pier when you return at the end of cruise, ready to welcome you home with open arms and hearts.

**I wouldn't speak for the family, you & the kids, yes by all means.

All my love forever and always,
SMW

Hope you don't think I butchered your letter, just trying to read it from his pov.

Hugs, good luck