Hi sweetie...remember I had suggested that you need a girls only weekend for yourself? Well you still need one!
I don't mean this to be just some kind of temporary escape, I mean it that you LITERALLY NEED a girls weekend for yourself soon, or you may really hurt yourself inside more and more.
I had mentioned the new John Gray book When M/V Collide...it describes how women need to keep their oxytocin (a hormone) levels high or else they get depressed and unbalanced and unhealthy. Doing "girly" things for ourselves and with our girly friends and relatives, actually stimulates oxytocin production and you really will feel better almost immediately. You need to maintain high levels of oxytocin as a woman, to feel healthy.
So girly...you gotta get your girlies together and somehow get away for a weekend for Alicia!! Its not to punish the man, its not to "prove a point" about anything (ie: fine, I'll just spend money on myself if you are going to be that way), its nothing like that at all. It is about stroking within yourself the buttons that make you exude your womanhood. Comprende?
Even if you don't read the book, take my word for it...I can tell from all that you write that you are an overwhelmed mom who needs a break, and if you don't get one you are going to become more and more sad and resentful...we are not meant to be deprived of our loving sisters and the ways they and only they can support us! We have to get back in touch with our girly-ness in order to be balanced in our woman-ness. We do this by doing things like:
*Girls weekend trip to the beach
*Getting nails and toes done, getting lunch together, seeing girly movies together
*Shopping together
*Gathering to talk, share, support each other through conversation, chatting, and other forms of communication
*Join a yoga or fitness class together
. . . . .
So Ali - your problems with your H are one thing, and I have very little advice about that because the dynamic between you and he seems like something that is still playing itself out, you two are in flux...but YOU girl, I can tell you what YOU need, and please heed my advice and do something from the list above with some girlfriends or female relatives soon.
A weekend away would be best...NO KIDS though...you need the break and you need to not feel guilty about it, either.
