I'm so pleased you have a thread again you know, the boards really weren't the same without you.
Ok, my thoughts on the email...
So there were no grand proclamations of love, do you expect that at the moment?? Although it would be nice I'm not sure it is going to happen just now. Expectations are not a good thing as we know, but I think it is pretty impossible not to have them where our loved ones are concerned.
Let's look at the bigger picture. He split up with you, (a year ago??) after which you went dark pretty much straight away. He has no idea what you are thinking or feeling. You both work on yourselves for a while. Out of the blue he sends you the key and you phone him and have a good conversation. Since then you have seen each other a couple of times and phoned/emailed a bit. You both still don't know what the other is thinking and you have to tread a very fine line with each other.
I think both men and women (but especially men, sorry guys) find the written word a bit difficult/awkward when you don't know what someone else thinks or feels. It is awkward and there is an awkward politeness with each other (me and h have it in all our contact apart from the last half hour of our last meeting). In a way it is a bit of a game, I think of it as circling lions however I don't know that one lion makes the first move. You both need to feel at ease with each other for it to free flow again. Men also generally don't put as much feeling into stuff as we women - you only have to look at the posts on this board generally to see the different styles. In a way, that is why I love men's posts on here, they say it like it is and there are no under-lying messages. They write it straight, us women agonise and can be ambiguous. Isn't that why we work on our emails that we send to our men to make sure that there is no ambiguity or pressure? However when we receive emails from them if that female style is not there we feel unloved or rejected.
It is what it is, a response to your recipe and information about the cello. It is a friend's response, but to me that is pretty huge. From what I have described in your situation above, from going from an emotional break-up through no contact to being friends is huge and such an achievement. You should feel so proud.
So you know emailing isn't his great forte for expression. At least he responded and showed interest and it is in no way a closed email saying/ implying no more contact. Jody told me that me and my h are re-framing at the moment and I think that is what you and B are doing. It can't all happen at once. You can't scare him off. This is how it is at the moment and you have to encourage growth while at the same time not rushing it and letting him go at his pace. It has to happen organically, you can't rush this.
What you have been doing so far has WORKED. More patience is needed and this is your forte! Think about the next move. Maybe you could include him in your instrument search? You could always try out a few cellos in New York and ask him to come along because you value his opinion. If you get involved in each other's lives more you will naturally have more to say and less polite emails. Maybe don't email back, maybe pick up the phone? Not now, but soon. You want to build and nurture this friendship not rush it or go on over-drive.
I think it is great he emailed back and it is a nice email. It isn't anymore than that but can you really expect that in light of the circumstances? Work out how you best interact with each other and go with that. Don't forget that we females bond with words... men don't necessarily so don't take it as rejection take it for what it is, a nice gesture and lets work on the next move.
Also, I just wanted to add that it is so difficult to cultivate a relationship/ friendship when there has been a lot of distance and space. You have to get to know each other again on neutral grounds and I think you are doing a great job of 'coming out of the dark'.
