Well......... H called the kids to say goodnight...once again he was at a concert (last night too). He had locked himself in a bathroom to call the kids, as otherwise he could not even hear them.
Urgh, I HATE that he is this happy and free and YOUNG ! He NEVER wanted to do any of that when he was in this life with me.
I'm sorry guys...
Having a rough and tough day. Cannot detach. It's too hard when someone you loved is off having the life, whilst you feel replaced and left behind, together with 3 wonderful kids, who did NOTHING to deserve this.
My feelings for H are starting to go bitter and I don't like the man he has become. If that keeps going on, then soon enough I will hate him and not want him in my life anymore, and I need to deal with him being the father of our kids....
This is just a HORRIBLE situation we are all in.
I feel lost and confused after nearly 3 years of this. I feel frustrated and to be honest I feel let down by God. I'm not sure that HE is really out there anymore...my faith is disappearing, there are so many good people who should not be going through this, yet they are, how can GOd allow that !?
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
