Good morning everyone. Thank you all for your kind words and consistent support.
Ali, you are right as my W doesn't know what she's doing. Kalni hit it on the head as she's hurting D by using D to get back at me. She is so very angry and bitter and she will be forever if she continues to only look at me as the source of her unhappiness. I may have played a part, but it is impossible for me to have done all alone.
Kerry, thanks for your kind words and encouragement. I'm still resisting the belief that W and I should be apart forever b/c I don't want this to be over. I'm still stuck w/ who she was and not who she is. My rational self knows she needs to be gone for good, but my emotional self is still resisting mightily. I guess it is a small victory that I at least know rationally that she needs to be out of my life. Now if my head can only convince my battered and bruised heart.
I got a text from W yesteday afternoon that said she didn't think it would be a good idea for D to spend time w/ me this weekend b/c D was still wrecked from our Labor Day together. I thought of responding, but said nothing instead.
I did get to talk w/ D for a few minutes last night, but our time was short. It feels to me like D is feeling pressured to not talk w/ me, but I can't prove it. She just seems uncomfortable which makes me sad.
So, I took a ton of cold medicine and went to bed early. I did send D a text before I passed out for the night telling her I loved and missed her. I'm not going to talk w/ W unless I absolutely have to.
I know I need to pull away and I'm just going to continue to work myself in that direction w/ the hope that as things clarify for me, I can begin to have more ability to pull further and further away from W.
