One Last Pull for this Knot to Break

[sleeper]

There seem to be changes that could be described as "baby steps" but I'm not getting my hopes up or having any expectations.

X now calls from time to time. Seems to be connecting with the kids more and more. She asked if she could have them one afternoon this week to take them to a movie and requested kidswap a few hours early this weekend so she could take them to a play. I agreed to both but added a stipulation that she pick them up from school on the day she wanted them during the week. I'm trying to be pleasant and accomodating without being a pushover.

When she brought them to me she came in and lingered for a while. She called my bird by name and said hello to her. She commented that my apt looked better and was interested in additions to my aquariums. We talked politics like we used to as I walked her to her car. She was without OM this time.

She called yesterday at the time she knew I was off work and would have just picked up the kids. She asked, "What are you doing?" I answered, "Uh, driving home with the kids." I think she and OM are one the outs (one of many times but hopefully the final time) and she may be bored or realizing what she is missing.

Later in the evening DD called X. She was out at happy hour with "the girls." A little later X called me. We chit-chatted for a few minutes. I ended the conversation.

Just a couple of days ago a thought crossed my mind for the first time that I might not want X back. Last night I had a dream that I met someone I was really interested in and we were going on a date.

Maybe "I am starting to change."