New month, new strategy

[istherehope]

Hi OD,

Thanks I will ignore the email. That was my thought too, but I do always want to praise contact when possible. Note he has still ignored my email about postponing the sessions!

Not reacting to the schedule is definitely a 180, and I've not said a word and don't intend to. In fact I even told him on IM when it came up that I was fine and didn't need a schedule(secretly dying for one for calls and visits).

It does suck to think that I might not see H in Dublin, it causes a real pain in my heart, but I think you're right that I have to expect this. In a way it might even be better as he will see I am very serious about being respectful of his space and his "control" of our contact. I have a sneaking suspicion though that he could possibly be at the house when I arrive, not for sure as he has school that day, but possibly. Jody said before that on some level he liked to put me in positions where it could look as though I was invading his space, like a revenge thing. He did this a few times when I was still in Dublin.

Yeah I don't expect things to be completely sorted with H anytime soon. The only thing I want is for him to let me move back into the house when I come back, and for him not to look for another place, even on a trial basis. This will be the best way to demonstrate 180s. I just think he will be terrified of me coming back until and unless we spend some time together first...

The one thing about my H though is that he should be the poster child for self-care. he is amazing. He literally works out every day of the week, goes out with friends but barely drinks, cooks healthy food, reads self-help books, and is seeing a psychotherapist. So even though I know his healing will take time, I think he is on an accelerated path due to his willingness to work on himself.

I miss rainy and cold weather! It's 30 C here today, and so hot I can hardly stand it. I am the odd one out though who likes rain and gray skies...

ITH