Ground Hog Day WAW #18

[hoosiermama]

The problem is she ignores me, so there isn't anything to validate.

But...

She just texted me Good night... I think I'll go dark...

Key concept here--
Did you like the fact that she thought of you and texted Good Night? Seems like good, connected, spousal-like behavior. Like I'd give anything for my spouse to do, by the way. So--would you like her to do that most nights? I'm thinking yes.

So--that's what you validate and positively reinforce! If you go dark, it should be on those texts that push your buttons, not on behavior/texts that you'd like to have more of. Not a lengthy convo, just a smiley and a "good night." And stop there. Bet it happens again!