I've been following your thread for a while and I reluctantly have decided to write you this post as even though I'm the one that got walked out on this time....I was the one in the past that probably dangled H along the way your W is dangling you along so I have a bit of perspective. Please understand I have the best intentions in writing this to you and don't want to give you false hope, but some of the things your wife is doing remind me of things I did so I'm going to tell you what was going through my head and you can take it or leave it.
You see, my H and I have been through the mill throughout our R...he left me....had an EA...came back...things went on for a while and the hurt I tried to keep down regarding his EA reared it's ugly head and I began to have my own on-line EA which led to H finding out and then leaving again only this time, as he says, I didn't object to him leaving. So here is where your wife reminds me of me during that time....
Once H moved out I was free to do whatever I wanted. I talked on-line all I wanted, I talked to a guy at work that I wasn't even remotely interested in, knowing he WAS interested in me. I didn't find him in the least bit attractive, but his worship of me fed my wounded ego (I call it feeding my beast). Not a nice thing to do to him and an even worse thing to do to H as even though H wasn't living with me...I still maintained a relationship with him....kept in constant contact with him...never let him go. The reason I never let him go was because I never had any intention of actually "moving on" with someone else....I always wanted H to be there when I was done acting like a single woman. It was a very strange state of mind for me...I still loved H...the thought of having sex with someone else made me want to vomit (still does) but having men express their interest in me fed some void in my life and it wasn't until H found out about my double life that I was slapped in the face with the notion that if I didn't straighten my ass up I was going to lose H forever. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I feel like your wife is acting in a similar way....long term I think she knows she wants to come back to you, but it's like she's trying to get something out of her system. I just hope she doesn't wait too long and find out that you have moved on once she's done with this nonsense. I still regret those wasted years.....
Also, one other thing I wanted to tell you...you mentioned in an earlier post that W had gone to the doctor and they ran a pregnancy test on her....I want you to know I work in the healthcare field and for some conditions and before we prescribe some medications, even when a woman tells us she's not sexually active it's standard protocol to run a pregnancy test. This is because some women do lie about their sexual life and we don't want to prescribe something that causes birth defects for run a test that could cause harm to a fetus such as an xray. Additionally, when some symptoms are present STD tests are run despite a woman's lack of sex or monogamy. You see some women come in with symptoms and tell us they have only had sex with their husband, but from our perspective that doesn't mean their husband didn't have sex with someone else and bring something home to them. Make sense? Again...just another perspective....I have come to find out that I could state a case for H having another woman from pretty much any scenario if I let my mind go crazy enough. We get presented with so little data since the WAS tends to avoid giving us much info on the state of their affairs and we take these very small pieces of info and make great big stories out of them. I don't know about you, but I'm going to start cutting myself some slack in that area...it only hurts me.
