'not being mean but she is a "drama queen" most of the time, she takes everything literally and seriously which can make it hard to joke around with her'
Considering all the upheaval she has been through I doubt she's in the mood for joking. I know my wife lived through 2 divorces and a few of her mom's other LTRs and I think it really wounded her.
"a leapard cant change his spots"
Was she referring to you or herself ?
Anyway, W and I went out to eat tonight. I initiated a hug when I picked her up, but she was not completely comfortable, so it was short.
She's been working hard and I just asked her about her week and let her get it all out.
Had a nice dinner, some champagne and wine. Gave her a nice card at restaurant (sp?) which she liked; she smiled. It was about the world being a better place for her being in it. Not specif. romantic card, but nice.
We went back to our house so she could visit her cat. D is with Grandparents tonight.
We talked. She basically said she longed for a place of her own where she would not have so much chaos. Mentioned finances being a big difficulty, as we are living paycheck to paycheck. Eventually indicated that she could see us working things out, but I think it would have a lot to do with me changing careers and making about 2x the $$$. Which is what I have been working on for the last few months. Then she could not stress out about the finances, and maybe quit working the job with a boss she doesn't like.
Took her home, and showered her with several small gifts, very nice body lotions, body washes, hand soaps, etc, her favorite brands. She really loved it.
Which brings me to a question. Do you know your W's love language ? There is a book called " The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" by Gary Chapman.
Basically the idea is that each person understands love primarily in one of 5 different ways. Rarely do couples share the same language, so they don't communicate love in a way that their mate can understand it.
The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch.
My wife's love languages are receiving gifts and physical touch.
Right now physical touch is difficult, but small gifts are ok. In fact, the gifts I gave her tonight seemed to really make her happy. To her, gifts mean that I have thought about her and that makes her feel loved.
You should be able to pick up a used copy on Amazon or maybe a local used bookstore.
Getting late,,,hang in there.
BTW, your general attitude seems to be a lot better than when you started this thread.
Me 47, W 32,D 6, Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7 Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09
