Worked on SD16's car today to get the brake lines fixed. My W's cousin came down and helped with it. I also had to do some things to SIL's car. I was going to take the round about approach with SIL when I dropped the car off, but W was there when I got the car back.
W brought me back to town, since I had dropped off the vehicles earlier. She said that when the house was sold she was going to move from the county. That she was tired of being the portrayed as the bad person in the marriage. How bad she was treating me, ect. How many people were mad at her. I did say that there were some people that thought I was dumb for not just telling her to f-off and walk away.
She asked if her cousin had said anything about it which he did'nt. She complained about her mother continually harped on her that she was wrong. That I agreed with everyone that her seeing someone else while married was wrong. No denial there.
I deflected alot of it. I was also able to throw in some truth darts before she dropped me off. I told her to stop judging me for who I was. A couple other things came out. When she dropped me off I told her that I did agree with my part in the breakdown of the marriage. She did say that she did respect me enough that she did not go off on people about the problems that I had in the marriage. I told her that I understood where I had my problems and never left the total blame on her about the separation. Never about the affair though.
By the time she dropped me off she was in tears. We did talk about all this for a couple minutes and then she said she had to go. She was breaking down emotionally at this point.
The problem is she is so stubborn as to continue on the path she is on. Maybe to prove just that she cannot make a good decision and feed into her low self-esteem and be a victim. I can see her follow her MIL's path and SD16 is following right behind. It is frustrating that the WAS can be so blind to what is going on.
I am not sure about any hope she will come around. She is so set on her ways. PDT, from reading your former threads I can see how frustrating It can be to love someone so stubborn. My W seems to be the most content when she is the bad person and she cannot make a good decision.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
