Still moving in a positive direction

[Tamashii]

Dear Frank,

I don't get on here much because:
1.) I don't have anything new to offer and
2.) I keep seeing heartbreaking stories. Yours is particularly heartbreaking to me.
I have now been sober over 2 1/2 years. The last thing I remember W saying during the 'speech' was 'I can't stand the drinking.' (We won't discuss her drinking or the drinking of her friends.)
I don't know if this is your problem, but I know, for myself, if anything else is to happen favorably the drinking must go.
I don't know at what juncture I've entered this dialogue, so if you've heard all this before tune me out.
There are also alternatives to AA if that's not your cup of tea.
There are medications to help with cravings and to help your brain get back in balance. Naltrexone and Campral are two that immediately come to mind. Vivitrol is another http://www.vivitrol.com. There is new science all the time to deal with this. Your life needn't be an endless stream of meetings and whining about drinking.
I know AmyC has spoken to you, but I'm not totally sure what your spiritual beliefs are. I know she was a beacon for me. Regardless, I'd like you to get a little skinny book called How to Save Your Marriage Alone by Ed Wheat. He defines and describes love as Paul discusses it in I Corinthians 13. He goes into depth about agape, or unconditional love. This is where you are. Your love is no longer a feeling. It must be a conscious, deliberate act. What your W says or does no longer has any bearing on what you do. The story of Hosea is also in there. And, that book is where my sig line comes from.
These women must be loved in a way they never thought possible, in a way they never knew existed. This can only happen over time. The only way to do this is to give the circumstances to God. They don't matter. You can't do anything about them anyhow.
Well, enough from me, my friend. Hang in there. You have helped many here, and you are loved and appreciated.

David