Hey smartie pants. It's good to hear from you. (((Julia)))
I know that I've been neglecting everyone else's threads, but, we all have our down times.
I definitely deserve an Oscar for my performance this evening. I was playful, I was positive, I was happy. I didn't mention the bottle of margaritas that I saw in her purse or the cigarettes I saw in the glove box. I'm starting to detach. I didn't say that I'd arrived :P
W was showing the me the house sale flyers she had picked up. Again, this confuses me as I don't know how she thinks that I'd get a huge mortgage on a house if we aren't going to be together. Oh well, I'm not going to let that bother me. She is starting to share a little more about her days, it's her nights that are off limits
I asked if she had fun on Monday at the Taste of Colorado. She said that she did, so I said that we needed to do that more often, go places together as a family.
D12 asked, "So, Mommy, you're coming home in January?" to which W replied "I don't, we might be moving." Who knows what she is thinking. I'm trying to put her out of my mind.
Oh, and thank God for sunglasses and long drives. I need to get some tissues for the car, but, it gives me a chance to cry and I'm going to keep crying until I'm all cried out.
Let's see, what else. I got a call from my best man regarding the job where he works that would be mostly work from home and he's going to try and get an interview next week as the guy that they thought they had for the job got a counteroffer where he is and decided to stay. So, that would be a huge plus.
My other friend pointed out to me that staying faithful and maintaining the moral high ground is important if things do go to D and W gets nasty. Which is an awful thing to need to contemplate, but, at some level, we all need to protect ourselves.
Since I took the day off, I went into Boulder and paid a bill, tried to take care of another errand and had lunch. Then, I came home, got my coat and went for a walk in the open space nearby. There is nothing like a cold overcast day when you're feeling melancholy. So, I'm sitting on a log in the middle of fields exchanging text messages with friends and taking phone calls from D12 about how her soccer practice was cancelled. I was making sure that I was away from the house so W wouldn't know I took the day off. Everytime I take time off, she gets concerned that I'm going to lose my job. I keep explaining to her that is why they give you vacation time.
Anyway, I'm going out with friends again tonight and I'm going to keep my friend in my pants and I'm going to figure out this detaching thing and this GAL thing and set my goals small. Right now, I just want to make it through September and then I'll quit Then, when October gets here, I'll decide to quit in November and so on. I remember using a strategy like this when I used to ride my bike to work and I had a huge hill to climb. I would promise myself that I could stop after 3 more reflectors and then 3 more and so on until I made it to the top.
Anyway, everyone have a great night and a wonderful weekend.
It's good to hear from you. (((Julia)))
Then, when October gets here, I'll decide to quit in November and so on. I remember using a strategy like this when I used to ride my bike to work and I had a huge hill to climb. I would promise myself that I could stop after 3 more reflectors and then 3 more and so on until I made it to the top.
