you are spot on. That is why I have not had a r talk for over 9 months. I already knew the answer to the question. She, like your wife is not ready to deal with herself.No counsling, no nothing, I have asked her about counseling many months ago, It has to be when she is ready and that is just the way it is.
I do compliment her , tell her how beautiful she is, we laugh and have a good time together. I know in the mlc world, 12 months since the bomb, is not a long time. But she is working on the divorce papers and has hired a lawyer to help her finish them.So it is what it is. She has no desire to work on the house to get it ready to sell, because honestly that is the only way she will be able to afford a real place of her own.
I know she is sick and tired of living in the travel trailer. I dont blame her.she seems to only be able to want the divorce, but as I told someone earlier today, the divorce is the easy part. She has no idea how hard the rest of it will be.She has no stomach for that. IKnow it is in the Lords hands. thanks imageer.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I think I misunderstood what I read. I had thought you said you recently had an R talk with you W. My Bad.
Regarding the compliments, I try to keep it a little lighter than "you are beautiful" That is maybe pushing a little bit. I try to say things like; "Your hair looks good today" or "You look good today". I even said to her once "I like your funky socks" Strangely, she really liked that one.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
Imageer, the extent of any r talk was 2 weeks a go, she had been discussing the settlement agreement, and I just asked her in passing if her feelings had changed over the last 11 months. She said no, I said ok, and walked away. That is the extent of any R talks over the last 9 months.She is not ready, she may never be ready. It is in God's hands.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I was thinking on the way to work today how my wife actually talks to me.It is not like a husband and wife anymore.She is much more polite and it is more like a stranger.She has been able to detach much better than I have.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I know she is sick and tired of living in the travel trailer. I dont blame her.she seems to only be able to want the divorce, but as I told someone earlier today, the divorce is the easy part. She has no idea how hard the rest of it will be.She has no stomach for that. IKnow it is in the Lords hands. thanks imageer.
Craig,
By practicing the DB you let her start to face this. If she focuses only on you and getting away she won't have a pause to feel her emotions and really think about the reality.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I have been dbing my heart and soul out for many months, NO pressure of any kind.Any pressure she is feeling is out of my control. I agree, she needs to feel a pause. That is one of the reasons she moved into our trailer. It was her choice.I could be mean and spiteful and tell her not to come over unless I am home. But it is her house too, her money goes to pay for the house and everything else we have shared. If there was alot of anymosity I could see keeping her at more of a distance.But there is none.For me it just makes me sad.But I just need to remember that the Lord is control.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
As far as her wanting to get rid of me, she has been working on the divorce off and on for many months.I backed off when she filed back in january, and she just let it sit on the desk for months.It has only been the last month she has pursued it with more vigor.My beautiful wife just needs time, and constant prayer.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
It is a possibility, it is our 20th.Her brothers wedding was just a few days ago, you know the vows!! She might think that the guilt will disappear when the divorce is final.I went through this 24 years ago, the guilt does not go away that easyily.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I really miss my wife today, I am not sure why today, but I do.Probably because our anniversary is in a few days.I went and saw my oldest son and his family this morning. My youngest grandaughter(9m) is so beautiful.I asked my oldest grandaughter(7) if she wanted to spend the night next weekend. She said no. My son said she has been clingy lately and does not want to be away from Mom and Dad. I said , that is pretty normal.
May God bless all who come to this bb.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
