God give me the patience and the strength...6

[theotherhalf]

Life is sucking pretty bad for me right now. Work is really bad. D17 and I are going around about money and school work. H chewed on me the other day about her school work so then I'm having to get on her myself because of course he doesn't say anything to her. And H is again avoiding me.

It's Friday night. I am home alone. No where to go, nothing to do.

I just don't understand what I did so wrong. Why H doesn't want to be with me anymore. Why I am left in this life alone to go on. Why I worked so hard all my life to end up here. I always thought my cup rannith over and now it's so dambed empty I can't stand it. The girls have school, work, sports, and friends. They don't need me anymore. At least not the way that would occupy my time.

I'm so tired of all this. I am tired of being alone. I hate it. I'm tired of not feeling worthy. I'm tired of being rejected. I want to be happy again. To be loved. To laugh. To feel joy in my life again. I want someone to talk to, share with, to cuddle with. To love me like I love. To honor me, to respect me. To want me. What did I do so wrong?..,

Sorry, having a really really bad day and needed to vent.