No one is going to flame you. You are loved and welcome here.
Hurt is real: for divorce in all marriages. We hurt with you and for you.
Adultery and divorce is wrong: in all marriages.
What most people tend to feel, including some left behind spouses, is that when children are involved, things are more complicated and more people get hurt. Many LBS who didn't have children told me felt grateful that they didn't have to drag kids though the divorce or they were sort of glad this happened when they were relatively young enough to re-start in a new relationship.
Again, it doesn't minimize your pain.
I've had people tell me, "Be glad this is happening to you when you are 40 and not 50, because it's easier to find someone new." That was cold comfort when they said it, but it had some wisdom to it.
If you are younger and dont't have children, if your spouse takes off with someone else, however much it hurts, you MIGHT bounce back from it more easily.
To be honest, if I didn't have kids, I probably would have divorced my wife by now. You take a lot of crap for the kids's sake, even infidelity.
But Poet, I don't think, for a moment, that what Brad did to Jennifer was right. It's immoral. A broken heart is a broken heart. Adultery is adultery. But all of us, to some degree, breath a sigh of relief when think, "At least, they didn't have kids."
