Ready2Change (6) - Temp Orders

[No Longer BH]

[quote=Gypsy]
Of course Mommy came to the rescue and I handed him to her.

Ready, I am not defending your W here at all, I just want to say something from a mother's perspective. I have generally been the one who took care of my S physical and emotional needs. When he would get hurt, I was the one who put the bandaid on. That was my role - main caregiver. Even to this day I swoop in at times to try and help him. When my H and I first seperated, there was an incident where S hurt his head and began to cry. I rushed over passing my H to get to my S so that I could care for him. It was instinct. H started yelling at me that I was not letting him be a parent and I had no right to do that. Again, I was not trying to push him out of the way, it was just the dynamic of how things had always been. Ijust wanted to give you a possible different take on the sitch.

We can chose to look at other in a negative light or a positive light, even when they are doing negative things. Maybe she was just obeying her mommy instincts and felt that S could use some of her attention as well. It might have had nothing to do with you. When we focus on the positives in life, it becomes a happy place to navigate and forgiveness is handed out readily. I have seen too many people go through D only to end up angry bitter people. I made the decision I would NOT become one of the walking wounded. The only way I could let go of the pain was to try and always see things from a more positive point of view so that I could forgive and let go.

I think you are a wonderful father and now you are getting the opportunity to know your children very well. When you have them, it is YOUR time with them and you get to be in charge of the memories you create for them. As much as all of this sucks, your bond you have with your children is a positive. Look at how much you have grown through this as well. You are no longer the person that your W left. That is good too. If she does not want to come back in the end, SHE is the one missing out on something pretty freaking wonderful, not you. Hope you dont see me as being to pushy, just was trying to offer an alternative on how to think about things. Hope you are doing good.