Seperated but living together...

[Kiki1011]

So I spent last night at the emergency room for most of the night. I found out I basically have to have a surgical procedure done in order to save the pregnancy. There is something wrong with my cervix which could possibly be caused from the surgery I had last summer when I had my bout with cancer.

H did not show up to the hospital when I called him...he was "bowling", said he would call after he was done. When he called I told him about everything and said we needed to talk about the risks and everything with the surgery. That was at 11:00pm, he said he'd be right there, came home around 1:30am. When we finally sat down to talk he told me that maybe I shouldn't have the surgery that I can always get pregnant again later. SO..my H basically told me to lose the baby.

Well I went to the Dr. today and H texted me afterwards, this is how it went exactly...
H - "How did it go?"
Me- "Do you even care? Last night you basically told me to just allow myself to lose the baby"
H - "I just figured you would want a baby with someone who actually wants to be with you instead of having one while we are going to be going through the divorce. It just seems easier"
Me - "I'm really hurt by you right now"
H - "Why?...cause I'm the only one thinking logically?"
Me - "this is a baby we are talking about and I will do anything I can to save it. I'm not going to just take the easy route"

I haven't gotten a response back and that was about 3 hours ago.
I am so hurt right now I don't even know how to describe how badly.

I feel so much anger right now and I hate it. I thought we were slowly starting to improve with the baby steps and everything but now I feel right back where we started, if not further back.

:o(

Need some hugs!