The only advice I want is about the cell phone. The other stuff I already know what I did wrong. I don't need told. I'm just writing it all down to explain what a total idiot I am.
I understand. I know that you are now clearly seeing what you are doing and how it is affecting the situation, your W and your kids.
What can you do to change what you're doing? It's so hard because you're hurting and you just want it fixed.
Except you can't fix it. It's one time in your life where you or I can't fix the relationship. And we're used to fixing things.
I'm a software engineer, I work on really HARD projects and I fix others designs. But I can't fix my W.
I CAN fix me, and change how I act and no longer react to her.
You can too Phil.
Here's the thing though. I'm starting to wonder if you're not going through an MLC yourself? Phil, there's so much pressure on you that I think you're in need of someone to talk to, a friend or a counselor. Do you have a friend to confide in? Do you see a counselor?
Do you have someone to vent to? Not write but talk to on the phone or in person?
Everyone needs people to talk to. Nearly every church has a crisis line you can call or a family support / divorce support group.
Oh, and I also suggest that if you need a cell phone NOW, see if you are entitled to an upgrade and you can go buy one cheap or maybe get one free
