I haven't heard from H today on if he's seeing D or not tomorrow. And after finding out about OW last weekend, I'm hoping I can handle him seeing her without wondering if he's bringing her back to his place with OW!
I think I would just let it be. You could use the break right now.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yes, yes I could. But he does this crap where he won't call until about 15 minutes before pick up time to see if he can still see her.....like I don't make back up plans or something! Geesh!
Does he have to see her every weekend???? I guess what I am asking is if he waits until the last minute, what if you really had plans and since you did not hear from him, well, too bad?????
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
The plan we agreed to is every weekend. He sees D every Wed from about 4:30 - 7:30 and then on Saturdays from Noon - 4:30. When he hasn't called in the past, I have always made plans. Always. Because I know it upsets D that he doesn't show up. However, when he calls like that then I'm the bad guy for making other plans. I don't get it! He left me and hasn't reconciled since but I'm supposed to still be waiting??? That's how he acts anyway.
Dar you are in control. If he announces 15 min before and you have plans simply say sorry h I have plans today. That way you are not waiting, hoping that he will call.
Remember Dar you have a life too.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I know that. I just don't see how it helps to upset him. He thinks that it's written in stone that he sees D on Saturdays. If he doesn't call in advance to confirm, that's not supposed to be my problem since he's supposed to see her. Now, we've been burned too many times in the past where he doesn't show up anymore. I've pretty much left it that if he doesn't show up by 12:15 then we leave.
Dar it's tough with kids. I learned NOT to tell our kids when h was coming. That way if he didn't show then they wouldn't be disappointed. If he said he would be coming over, I would honor that up to about 1hr and a half window. Then I would go do something else, so I wouldn't be sad or angry or frustrated when he was a NO CALL NO SHOW.
This way I still got on with my life and just kind of said oh well life goes on.
Now life is much better. H always shows up or texts or calls if he can't, but he is NOT punctual. He will be upwards of a few hrs late.
I just smile when he arrives and say h so glad you could make it today and then smile some more.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Too bad it has to be that way but what I have learned is that while in this MLC, they have no concept of time.
My H has always been late to everything but this MLC thing--he is 1-2 hours later than what he says he will be.
We call it pluto time in our house. I jokingly told he and the kids that the only place he will be on time is to his own funeral because I will be in charge. It was meant to be funny and it was.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
