Did you ever just feel like a punching bag? It is punch and heal, punch and heal. And no, I never punched back. He told me this news and I said "okay".
Trust me, I know what it feels like to be the punching bag...I could seriously have been on the Jerry Springer show with all the drama in my life with my first H and OW. I still sometimes feel like my XH's (and OW's) punching bag...I think it is their guilt. I know how hard this is on you. It there anyway you can get some C? You don't seem to want to express your feelings to your H. I just think it would be good for you to find a healthy way to deal with all of your feelings. Of course, coming to this board to vent is a start. Have you tried writing a letter to your H and your ex-GF?...even if you don't send them?
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I do know that H and I talked a couple of years ago about the way this friend treated her BF's children. She wasn't very kind to them - said she hated the kids, etc. I remember even H admitting that he was uncomfortable when she talked about the kids in such a negative way. This will not occur with my children - mark my words.
Good luck with this one. I was the step-mother to a teenage girl. I always thought I would love her as one of my own...and I tried but it really doesn't work that way in many cases. My step-D had a lot of anger that ended up directed at me...and I couldn't win no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried. I became frustrated and closed myself off from her. I wish I would have handled things better but unfortunately I did end up talking negatively about her and ended up putting my H in the middle. We all could have handled the situation better but instead we all avoided dealing with it. Not good.
Anyway, you know this woman's track record and you know how your H avoids dealing with things. Plus, I feel a step-mother/step-daughter relationship is by far the most difficult. IMO, this is a train wreck waiting to happen. Hopefully your ex-friend and your H's relationship will be the only casuality.
Your ex-friend wants a relationship with your H so she is choosing not to see any correlation between what her ex did to her and what your H has done to you...and what she is doing to you! I am sure she justifies it in her mind that your M is over so your H is fair game. The friendship...well, she isn't much of a friend because she put having a relationship with a man who cheated on his wife over a friendship.
Hang in there millicent...it may be a bumpy ride for awhile. Just know that we are here for you if you need us.
