stella - I'm glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself. Your H is definately still in the MLC/Depression fog. God, I sometimes just want to smack my H with a 2x4 and yell "Wake UP you idiot, look what you are doing to your life." But, alas, it would not do any good. He is just going to have to go it alone.
Only you know how much your heart can take, but I dont see him done yet. They get so scared and lost they think that running away will bring them peace and happiness. Has he found that yet? Um, I would say NO! This last rejection almost feels like one last desperate attempt for him to gain controll back in his crashing world. You need to just let him crash. From everything I have read on MLC, it is only after they have bottomed out that they start to do the work to rebuild themselves back up to a healthier place. Sounds like he is almost there - the bottom that is. Im not trying to keep you hanging on by any means either. That is not healthy for you. You do need to move on and GAL, but if you want to leave the door open a crack, I dont think there is any harm in that. It might still be a long journey before he comes out of it and you have to decide when enough is enough.
When I start to get down that my H still has OW in his life (even though he swears up and down it is not a PA anymore - whatever) I just tell myself "He started it with her when he was so broken and depressed. As he comes out of his D, he will eventually see how desperate and broken she is. They are two unhealthy people looking to take from eachother in order to try and build up their self esteem. Once he is healthy again, he is not going to want to keep getting drained by her. You can only develope a healthy relationship when you chose a partner while you have a healthy mind. This will not last." I think it is the same for your H as well.
You are doing great and I admire the strength you have shown in handeling this. Like they say, it aint over until the fat lady sings...but in this case, it aint over until YOU decide to let it be over. I believe from the bottom of my heart that when he finally emerges, he will want the family he destroyed. My thoughts are with you.
Broken Hearted ------------------ Me - 36 H - 37 S - 8 Married - 1992 ILYNILWY - August 2007 Moved Out - March 2008 OW Revieled - May 28, 2008 Filed for D - July 2, 2008
