If you look at the forums and chapter of the book entitled, "keeping the changes going" indicate, right or wrong, we will be on the performance treadmill for the rest of our marriage. Yes, marriage is work, but in essence what DB is saying is that it's not held together by a covenant or commitment, but a life-long, mutually satisfying game of "What have you done for me lately?"
I'm honestly wrestling with that at the moment.
That's part of my point I think. Aren't there people out there like myself that do believe marriage is a covenant and committment and until death do us part? I don't think marriage should be "what have you done for me lately". It's nice to make yourself attractive for your loved one, and try to do their love language, and all that, but your marriage shouldn't depend on doing a great or nearly perfect job at that. Maybe we do have the wrong spouse if they don't have a sense of committment to the marriage? Karen
